


Enemy Mine (Currently on Hiatus)

by AlViWalker



Series: Alice's Journey [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Blood and Gore, F/M, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Psychological Torture, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2020-09-29 19:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20441114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlViWalker/pseuds/AlViWalker
Summary: After faking her death, Alice has been living safely, albeit lonely, for the last few months. But no matter how hard you try, you can never really escape your past....EDIT: As those who actually followed this story might have already guessed, the well of inspiration has run kind of dry. I got sucked into other fandoms and haven't found my way back yet. Plus, I'm not very satisfied with what I have written so far, so once I get back in the groove, there might be some changes to the stuff I have already written. Until then, I wish everyone the best and hope you're all safe and healthy <3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I finally managed to continue with this, after having lost my motivation for the last few months. I have a few new ideas I want to incorporate, but if you have any suggestions, feel free to leave a comment! I'm basically making this up as I go along (just like the first one) so I'm open to suggestions.  
Please enjoy!

It had been three months, since I had left London and Mycroft had made good on his promise to ship me off to a safe-house. Currently I was residing in Iceland, in a quaint little cabin in the middle of nowhere, far away from people and other forms of civilization. I quite liked my imposed solitude, even if it meant, that the only human contact I had for the last twelve and a half weeks, were the monthly delivery of foods and other items one needs to survive. It gave me time to process everything that happened with Moriarty and sort through my feelings regarding the curly-haired detective, who I had to leave behind for the time being. After our _talk_ a few months back, the topic didn't really come up anymore, due to the fact, that Mycroft insisted I should leave England as soon as Dr. Phillips gave his ok, which was only a week and a half after Sherlock and John came back from Ireland. I hadn't been in contact with any of my friends since then, mainly because my location was so remote, that cell-phone reception was practically non-existent. The only way to contact the outside world was via satellite-phone and Mycroft made me promise only to use it in case of a life-or-death emergency and vice versa. Luckily for everyone, there hadn't been anything remotely resembling such an emergency and I had almost but forgotten about the existence of said phone.

So when I was pulled out of my, now obligatory, afternoon nap by a strange ringing-sound, it took my sleep-addled mind a moment to understand what was happening. Once it clicked inside my head, I almost fell off the sofa in my hurry to answer the call. Dread filled my whole body, making me shake uncontrollably and the receiver almost slipped from my trembling hands as I picked up.

“H-Hello?” My voice was barely above a whisper and silence greeted me from the other end of the line, doing nothing but ratcheting up my levels of panic. Clearing my throat, I tried again, this time louder, with a confidence I didn't really feel at the moment.

“Hello?” An all to familiar chuckle reached my ears, making shivers run down my spine and a cold sweat break out all over my body.

“I have missed you, Ally-Bean. Did you miss me?” I couldn't answer, my head was spinning from the utter horror I was feeling and white spots danced in my vision. My heart was beating a million miles an hour and tears were silently streaming from my eyes, dropping down my face and onto the floor.

“Cat got your tongue, sweetheart? You didn't think you were safe from me, now did you? You should really know better by now.” The irish lilt in his voice was more pronounced as he was mocking me and suddenly a surge of anger burst in my chest, making me foolish enough to fall for his teasing.

“What do you want, you bloody arsehole?” I immediately knew, that that was a bad move on my part, but before I could do any damage-control he replied in an angry growl.

“You're going to be very sorry for talking to me like that, when I'm coming to get you, Alice. I'll give you some time to think about your behaviour. See you soon, love.”

And with that the line went dead, leaving me a wide-eyed mess on the ground, still clutching that damn receiver to my ear. Terror, that was all I felt at the moment, his last words ringing in my ears, repeating themselves over and over in my brain, until I dropped the phone, clutched my head in my hands and started screaming, just to make it stop. In the back of my brain, I knew I had to call Mycroft but I was paralysed by my own fear, choking on my sobs and screams.

“This can't be happening, this wasn't supposed to happen, oh my god, please not again.. I can't do this again, I just can't.. no... no...no....” I whimpered to myself, rocking back and forth on the floor, trying to calm myself down enough to function properly. After what felt like days, I was finally calm enough to pick up the phone again and dial the number that was written on a little post-it note, stuck on the back of the device. It took several tries for me to put the number in correctly, due to my hands still trembling really badly and when I heard the dial tone, I started crying again. When it finally connected, after ringing for what felt like an eternity, I let out a sob of relief.

“Alice, what is wrong?” Mycroft sounded concerned, he knew, that I would only call if it was more than urgent, as I had promised him.

“My-Mycroft, you have to get me out of here **now**! Please get me out of here, please! He's coming and I can't... I just can't!”

“Alice, dear, please slow down. What brought this on? I promised you that he can't get to you and I made sure of that. Just, take a deep breath and tell me what happened.” Mycrofts voice was soothing and adhering to his advice, I took a deep breath and tried to sort through the mess in my head.

“W-whatever you d-did was apparently n-not enough. H-he called me, Myc, on this p-phone. I d-don't even know, h-how he got this n-number, but he said he w-will be seeing me s-soon and if he f-found a way to c-contact me, he w-will find a way to g-get to me a-again”, I stuttered out in between hiccups. I could almost feel his surprise over Moriarty getting his hands on a highly-classified number, no-one was supposed to even know about.

“Alice, listen to me. If he was able to get access to this kind of information, it is more than likely, that he has someone watching me. The call was clearly meant to flush you out of hiding, so he could find an opportunity to get you back into his clutches. No-one but me knows exactly where you are and this specific satellite-phone is untraceable, so we can assume, that he is not going to be able to actually find your location, you have to trust me on that. I...”

“What about the delivery-guy? He knows where I am, even if he doesn't know who I am.” I interrupted him, only to be met by silence, followed by the almost inaudible exclamation of a swear-word I had never heard him use before. Mycroft didn't answer me, but I could hear him typing on his computer as I waited anxiously for his response, which consisted of another swear-word. Him swearing two times in a row couldn't mean anything good and the calmness, that had started to settle over me, vaporized into nothing.

“I don't want to alarm you, but it seems like he hasn't been to work in the last three days, without giving any notice to his employers. Now this doesn't have to mean anything, but just to be safe, I want you to gather enough food and water for a few days and lock yourself inside the basement. You should be safe there until I'm able to get you.”

“The basement? I didn't even know there was one...” I was genuinely confused, in the months I had to explore my accommodations, I had never seen any indication, that there was anything below the ground-level.

“I hadn't thought it necessary to relay that information to you, as I was sure, that there wouldn't be any need to make us of it. The door is hidden behind the second shelf in the pantry, the key for the door is inside your favourite book. Once you have locked yourself inside, no-one will be able to get to you, the doors and walls are reinforced with carbon-steel and the lock can't be opened from the outside, once it has been locked from the inside. There are several rooms down there, one of which is a control room for the security cameras, that are placed in- and outside of the cabin. There is also a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, so it shouldn't be too uncomfortable, though I advise you to take something with you to occupy yourself with, as there is nothing in the way of entertainment.” While Mycroft explained all this to me, I had already gotten up and retrieved the key from a hollowed-out copy of Stephen King's _'__The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon' _and went into the kitchen to start collecting enough food for at least a week, just to be safe. Now that there was a plan, I had calmed down considerably, my mind too preoccupied with the task at hand, to give me any time to start panicking again.

“OK, got all that. I already have the key, nice touch by the way, and I'm going to finish gathering everything I might need. Is there anything else, I should know about?” My voice was composed once again and my heart wasn't beating a staccato in my chest anymore.

“Just one more thing, the most important one of all. Do not, under any circumstance return upstairs until I arrive, do you understand?” I swallowed against the lump in my throat, the severity of my situation once again crashing down on me.

“I understand, Mycroft. And thank you, again, for doing all this for me.”

“There is no need to thank me, my dear. That is, what family is for. Stay safe and I will see you soon.” He ended the call and I stood at the kitchen-island, taking a deep breath.

Before I could freak out again, I busied myself with putting everything I would need into two large duffel-bags I had found inside the bedroom closet. Setting them down inside the pantry, I pulled on the second shelf, to reveal the steel-door that was hidden behind it and opened it with the key I had retrieved earlier. Only the first few steps were visible, before the way down was swallowed in darkness and my eyes searched the walls for a light-switch, seeing none. Taking a tentative step forwards, I let out a little yelp, as the light suddenly came on, illuminating the relatively short stair-way, that led down to, what could only be described as an underground bunker.

The walls and the floor were made of concrete, but I knew that underneath that was a layer of steel, which gave me a strange mix of feeling both secure and claustrophobic at the same time. Walking down the stairs with my two bags in tow, I observed my new surroundings. To my left was a small kitchenette, with an oven, a refrigerator and a row of cupboards, all made of stainless steel. To my right was a black leather sofa with a glass coffee-table in front of it, facing a bare concrete wall. Straight ahead were three doors, only one of them closed, but I decided to first lock the basement-door, before I would go investigate further. I hadn't noticed before, but the door had a three-point handle, reminding me of a vault and thick steel-bars protruding from the edges.

The sound of said steel-bars locking into place, after I had turned the handle, had something finite about it, that send a shiver down my spine. The air suddenly seemed thicker and for a brief moment I contemplated on unlocking it again and getting the hell out of there, but at the moment that would be rather foolish of me, no matter what my gut instinct urged me to do. Shaking off the ominous feeling, I decided to check out the other rooms. The first one was a small bedroom with a single bed and a wooden dresser in the corner, it eerily reminded me of the cell Moriarty had kept me in and tried to break my mind. Suppressing a shudder, I looked inside the second room, it was a simple, white-tiled bathroom with a sink, a toilet and a shower, all white porcelain and remarkably clean. This meant the room behind the only closed door had to be the control room, Mycroft had been telling me about. As my hand reached out for the handle, the hairs on the back of my neck suddenly stood on end and the feeling in my gut, that had told me to run, came back ten times stronger than before. What in the bloody hell was wrong with me? I chalked it off as just being on edge about everything that happened earlier and quickly pushed the handle down and opened the door.

I really, really wished I had listened to myself, when my eyes fell on the smirking figure, that was sitting in front of the security-monitors.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure, if I am really satisfied with how this chapter turned out to be. If you read the first installment (which you should, because this one will make little to no sense to you otherwise), you might remember that Alice had a bit of a problem with controlling her anger after waking up from her coma. I'm expanding on that in this chapter and it makes quite the difference in terms of her character. Let me know, if you think it is too OOC for her :)  
Also some smut, because I apparently can't write more than two chapters without going there XD  
Enjoy!

Neither of us spoke, we were just staring at each other, him still smirking, obviously enjoying my surprise and distress and me wide-eyed and shaking violently. Tears formed in my eyes and I tried very hard not to let them fall, to not give him the satisfaction, even though I knew it would soon be futile to attempt such a thing. He always got what he wanted in the end, as proven by his presence in here. I was frozen to the spot, while my brain was screaming at me, to get the hell out, but I was pretty sure, that someone was already waiting for us upstairs, most likely Sebastian, so making any attempts at escape would only lead to more pain. Still, my brain struggled to accept, what was right in front of me, telling me I was just hallucinating and it was easy enough to believe, until he ruined the flimsy illusion by opening his mouth and speaking to me.

“You know, you look really good for someone who has been dead for almost five months.”

My resolve not to cry shattered upon hearing his voice and I broke out in tears, tremors wracking my body, as I tried to at least not sob like a little girl. He stood up with his arms outstretched, as if to console me and I stumbled backwards, trying to get out of his reach, but of course he was faster than me in my dissolved state and he enveloped me in a crushing hug. I struggled to get out of his arms and in response he just held on to me tighter, pressing my head against his chest and patting my hair.

“I'm so, so sorry, Ally-Bean. My temper got the best of me and I didn't even give you a chance to explain. But you know how I get when you give your attention to someone other than me and to go behind my back and meet with Sherly of all people.... I just couldn't let that slide, but I might have gone a little overboard in my anger. Can you forgive me, baby-girl?”

His words took a moment to register in my brain and when they did, the fear was temporarily replaced by white hot fury, which gave me enough of an energy-burst to push him away.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? A LITTLE OVERBOARD? You almost killed me you bloody psycho! No, scratch that, you did actually fucking kill me! I flat-lined three times, while the doctors tried to save my god-damn life! So no, I'm not going to forgive you, you piece of shit!”

He looked at me, clearly taken aback by my outburst. I had never before spoken to him like that, but despite Dr. Phillips assurances, my temperamental outbursts hadn't gotten any better and I was pretty sure by now, that this was just a new part of me that wasn't going to go away. James had obviously recovered from his shock and was now staring at me furiously, stalking towards me and hissing angrily through his clenched teeth.

“Maybe you need a reminder of who you are talking to, my dear Alice. I don't appreciate your tone, not to mention you yelling at me. You should really...”

I didn't let him finish and instead tackled him to the ground with an angry, almost animalistic scream. He didn't expect me to attack him outright like that and I used the element of surprise to my advantage, my fist connecting with his stupid, fucking face before he could stop me. The first punch broke his nose with a very satisfying crunch, spurring me on even more.

“I HATE YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR YOU, THAT'S HOW YOU REPAY ME?! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU AND BATHE IN YOUR BLOOD!”

Droplets of blood were flying everywhere, as my fists came down again and again on his bloodied face, until he was able to restrain my arms and flip us over, so I was pinned beneath him. He was breathing heavily through his mouth, one of his eyes beginning to swell shut, bruises forming all over his face and he was grinning down at me like a maniac. I stared up at him, breathing hard and was about to give him another piece of my mind, when his split lips came crushing down against mine aggressively.

Fuelled by adrenaline and anger, I kissed him back just as aggressive, biting down harshly on his bottom lip, breaking more of the soft skin and eliciting a deep growl from him that reverberated through his chest and into mine. I could feel his excitement pressing into my hips and it made me even more angry, so when he lifted his head to take a breath, I headbutted him, stunning him momentarily so I was able to roll him off of me. My head hurt from the impact and the room spun a bit around me, as I straddled his hips, reversing our position. I surprised us both, when instead of beating him further into a pulp, I buried my hands into his hair and brought his lips against mine in a searing kiss, while simultaneously rolling my hips against his erection. His hands tightly gripped my hips, pressing me harder down against him and an involuntarily moan slipped past my lips, as he hit just the right spot.

I could feel him smirk against my mouth and letting his head fall back down to the floor, I slapped him hard across the face. Before he could retaliate, I ripped his shirt open and scratched my nails across his chest and stomach, leaving angry, red marks in my wake. He shuddered beneath me, his hips bucking upwards and I attacked his bruised and bloodied lips again. I was too far gone to think clearly about what I was doing, fuelled only by a primal need to take what I want, consequences be damned. As I was fumbling with his belt, my sweat-pants were being pushed down and I lifted myself off of him to discard them along with my panties. Resuming my position on top of him, I ground my now naked center against him, realizing that he had stripped his own pants, as I was occupied with undressing myself. Without missing a beat, I positioned him at my entrance and forcefully pushed down, taking him in all at once.

We both groaned at the feeling and I didn't wait for myself to adjust to his girth, before I was riding him fast and hard, ignoring the stretching pain and focussing instead on the familiar fullness inside of me. I didn't look at him, as I was bouncing up and down on his cock, this wasn't about him, it was about me being in control for once in my god-damn life. It was about _me_, taking what _I_ wanted for once. His hands were wandering upwards to my breasts, but I slapped them away, pinning them down beside his head, as I leaned forward, putting all my weight on his wrist to keep him restrained. Our eyes met, the fire in his dark orbs felt like it was burning me from the inside and I felt myself clench around him, eliciting a moan from both of us. I could already feel my orgasm building and I redoubled my effort, grinding down against his pelvis with every downward motion, taking him in even deeper than before. A high-pitched whine left my throat, as I finally felt myself going over the edge, convulsing around him so hard, that I wasn't able to move anymore. I hadn't intended to let him come too, but apparently he reached his peak at the same time as me, because I could feel his hot seed spurting out of him and coating my insides. After the final wave of my orgasm was over, I rolled off of him and lay on my back, breathing hard and trying to collect myself.

“I still hate you and this didn't mean anything.” The words slipped past my lips without me consciously making the decision to speak and I heard him chuckle beside me.

“You keep telling yourself that, kitten. But we both know, that that's not _quite_ true.”

He sounded as exhausted as I felt and incredibly pleased with himself. I rolled my eyes at his smugness and scoffed, unable to do much else. The adrenaline that had fuelled me was wearing off, leaving me tired and cold where I was burning so hot just moments ago. He rolled onto his side, trailing a finger lazily over my arm and grinning at me. I half-heartedly swatted his hand away, not even looking at him and he easily caught my hand in his, gripping it tightly. Deciding it was not worth the hassle, I let him intertwine his fingers with mine, staring at the ceiling and trying to process, what I had just done. I expected to feel guilty or disgusted with myself, but either I had finally lost my mind, or I was just too exhausted to really grasp the magnitude of my actions, because all I felt was a sort of smug satisfaction, that I had brought the great Moriarty down, even if it was for just a moment. But like all good things in my life, it didn't last long when he had to open his fucking mouth again.

“I have to say, if I had known, that that is what I would get, I would have tried to kill you much sooner.” My head snapped in his direction and I looked at him incredulously, my anger rising once again, as he chuckled to himself.

“Oh yeah, very funny, James. It's not like I almost died or anything. Bloody prick.” His chuckle died down and his facial expression turned dark.

“Remember your place, Alice. Just because I allowed you to...”

“Allowed me to?! You should count yourself lucky I didn't beat you to death! I still might, if you don't shut the hell up!” I had snatched my hand away from him and was sitting up, staring down at him angrily. He gingerly touched his face, wincing slightly as he grazed his broken nose.

“I have to admit, you definitely did a number on me. But don't delude yourself into thinking, that this is going to change the dynamic we had before. I'm still the one in charge and I always will be, baby-girl.”

Scoffing at him, I got up to pull my clothes back on, the evidence of our encounter slowly running down my legs.

“Fuck you, James. You're equally as attached as I am, loathe I am to admit that. Clearly I'm not going to get rid of you, unless I kill you myself. And as we have seen just now, I am not there yet. But I promise you this, if you keep pushing me, I will snap someday and only one of us will come out alive when that day finally comes. So you either get your shit together and treat me with respect or you can kill me right now. Because I'm not going to go through a repeat of everything you have put me through.”

Fully clothed, I stared down at him, hopefully getting my point across. When I didn't receive a response from him, I huffed and stomped up the stairs to open the door and exit the basement. Just as I had anticipated, Sebastian was standing in the kitchen, leaning leisurely against the counter and cocking his eyebrow at me in surprise. Rolling my eyes in response, I stomped past him, hollering over my shoulder, “I'm going to wait in the fucking car!”

I crossed through the kitchen and the living-room and threw open the door, the cold air outside somewhat cooling down my temper. A black SUV was standing in the driveway and I opened the back door, sliding into the seat and slamming the door close with more force than necessary. It didn't take long for James and Sebastian to come out of the house and get into the car with me. James was uncharacteristicly quiet and Sebastian turned around in his seat to look at me, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“I'm impressed, kitten. From the looks of it, you pack a mean punch. Remind me, not to get on your bad side.” He grinned at me and I felt myself grinning back, slightly leaning forward.

“Why thank you, Sebastian. And don't you worry, should you get on my bad side, I'm not going to hit you.” His grin grew even wider, but my expression turned utterly serious.

“I will cut you open from your neck to your dick and make you watch, while I rip out your organs, one by fucking one.” The grin on his face fell and he looked at me, worry shining in his eyes for a moment, before he turned back around and addressed James.

“Bloody hell, you weren't kidding.” He got no response and after awkwardly clearing his throat, he started the car and began driving away from the cabin, which had been my home for the past few months. Sighing to myself, I stared out of the window, already missing the quiet life I had been living before everything went to shit once again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know, it took me a while to update this, but now I finally did it! You actually can thank Ice_Princess for that one, because the comments that were left on the first part of this series, as well as on my other work really motivated me to keep going with this. And I have to say, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter! As I mentioned before, Alice has undergone some changes in her personality and I really love the new dynamic between her and Jim. Let's see, where this goes :)
> 
> As always, enjoy!

We had been driving in complete silence for nearly an hour and I was still waiting for my conscience to kick in, but apparently that wasn't going to happen. Ever since waking up, I felt like the person I was before had died the day Moriarty shot me. Sure, there were still remnants of her inside of me, no doubt about that, but the sweet and terrified girl I had been, had made room for someone who was volatile and vindictive. I had hid this new side of myself from Sherlock, because I had no idea, how he would handle this change in my personality, knowing that sooner or later he would find out. And against my better judgement, I had hoped that I would go back to my old self if given enough time, but my reaction earlier had shown me pretty clearly, that that wasn't going to happen anytime soon or anytime at all really. Strangely enough, I felt totally fine with this revelation, even if it did complicate matters with Sherlock. My feelings for the curly-haired detective had only grown stronger over time, absence makes the heart grow fonder was most certainly true in this case, but I wasn't sure if he felt the same way, seeing as we hadn't had any contact since I had been shipped off to Iceland. Who knew, maybe he realised what a monumental fuck-up I really am and decided to cut his losses. That would actually be the best outcome, for him at least, even if just thinking about it broke my heart.

I was brought out of my musings, when the door suddenly opened and Sebastian was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to get out. I hadn't even noticed, that we had come to a stop and as I exited the vehicle, I tried to assess my new surroundings. We apparently were at a private airport and a small jet was already waiting for us it seemed, because I could see Jims back disappearing inside. Ignoring Sebastian, I walked towards the small plane and had just put my hand on the railing of the stairs leading up, when he large hand came down on my shoulder, stopping me.

“Just a friendly word of advice, don't make Jim any angrier than he already is. I don't think any of us want to be trapped in a flying tin-can, when he goes on a rampage.”

Shaking off his hand, I turned around and smirked at him.

“Speak for yourself, Moran. I don't give a rats ass if your boss decides to throw a hissy-fit because he got his ass beaten by a girl. It's time for him to learn, that I'm not going to let him treat me like shit anymore. Same goes for you too, by the way.”

Giving him a once over and shaking my head in contempt, I left a speechless Sebastian behind me, as I entered the plane. The inside was looking more like a living-room than anything else, with comfortable looking cream-coloured leather chairs and couches and a plush dark-beige carpet on the floor. Shaking my head at this absurd display of wealth, my eyes searched for Jim and when I found him sitting in the back, I walked over and took a seat across from him, smiling innocently as he glared at me.

“What got your knickers in a bunch? Are you still pissed that I turned your face into minced meat? You did get a fuck out of it, so I don't know why you're still sulking about like a toddler.”

Jims face turned into a fascinating shade of red and he balled his hands into fists, his knuckles turning white, hissing at me through clenched teeth.

“I would shut my big mouth if I were you or you're not going to like the consequences.”

Nonplussed by his threat, I shrugged my shoulders, smile still in place, as I leaned forward.

“You going to beat me again? Have your loyal lap-dog fuck me bloody? Or, I don't know, maybe you could shoot me again, see if it sticks this time.” Leaning back again, the smile slipped from my face to be replaced by a mask of neutrality.

“Apparently you didn't listen to me before, so I'm going to say it again, maybe this time you will get it into your thick skull. I'm done playing your stupid games and if you want me to not make your life a living hell, you're going to have to adapt to the new circumstances. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the same girl you left to bleed out on that basement floor. I'm not going to take your bullshit anymore and if you're unable to cope with that fact, you just have to kill me before I kill you. There is no in between here, Jimmy-Boy.”

He visible bristled at the nickname and faster than I had ever seen him move, he grabbed my hair and pulled our faces close together, staring at me with fury in his eyes and something else I couldn't name.

“Oh, I heard you loud and clear, Ally-Bean. Do you want to know what else I heard? I heard you moaning like the wanton whore you are, when my dick was inside you. Don't pretend to be above it all, we both know that you're not. If you want me to treat you like more than just a dirty slut, than you better stop acting like one.”

With a harsh shove, he released me from his hold and I couldn't help myself, I broke out into laughter. I laughed so hard, tears were streaming down my face and my sides hurt. I tried to reign it in, but the offended look on Jims face was making that rather difficult. When I was finally able to breathe again, without dissolving into giggles, Jim cocked his eyebrow at me, clearly waiting for an explanation.

“Sorry about that, but you have to agree, that was hilarious. I don't care if you treat me like a slut, because lets be honest here, I apparently am. All I want is four you to stop treating me like a possession rather than a human being. That means no more locking me up, or you playing mind-games with me and it especially means, that you let me make my own decisions, without trying to control every breath I take. I want free reign to come and go as I please, because we both know, that I'm not going to run away again.”

Jim seemed to genuinely contemplate my words, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Under one condition: You stay away from Sherlock. I know that you're in love with that idiot and I'm not going to let you run to him, first chance you got. In fact, I have an even better idea. If you insist on having your way, I'm going to need some form of assurance, that you're not just going to vanish into thin air once we're back home, so I think it would be best, if we got married.”

“I'm sorry, what?” I blinked at him, thoroughly confused. Did I just hear him right? What in the actual fuck? Jim looked rather pleased with himself, obviously thinking he had won and convinced, that I would never agree to that. So, deciding to turn the tables on him I pretended to think about it, before nonchalantly shrugging my shoulders.

“OK, fine, if that's what it takes. Just means I can take over the business when you finally bite the dust.”

The look on his face almost made me laugh again, but this time I was able to reign it in before it had the chance to escalate. I really thought this would be the end of it, that I had successfully called his bluff, but he seemed determined to continue playing the game, not willing to admit defeat.

“We'll see about that. So you have no problem if we go straight to the registry after we land and get it over with?” Not really believing he would go through with it, I once again shrugged my shoulders, my face giving nothing away.

“Sure, why not. If it makes you sleep better at night.” He settled more comfortably into his seat, a smirk playing on his lips and I got the distinct impression, that I had just been played and not in the way I originally thought.

That little fucker! Burying my face in my hands, I let out a long suffering groan, before I looked up at him in resignation.

“You know, you could've just asked me like a normal person. Not that I would have agreed that way, but it would've been nice for a change.” Shrugging as nonchalantly as I had before, his smirk only grew at my obvious distress.

“Sure, but where would be the fun in that? This way, everyone gets what they want, except for Sherly of course. Oh, I have to be there, when you tell him! The look on his face will be glorious!” He chuckled to himself, piercing me with his chocolate-coloured eyes, daring me to disagree.

“Only one problem with that, dear husband. He's going to see right through that nonsense. And besides, who knows if he would even care? I haven't seen or spoken to him in months, he probably has long since forgotten about me.”

I tried to keep my face neutral, even though the thought still hurt, but Jim apparently caught on to that fact, a vindictive gleam entering his eyes.

“I can assure you, that he has not forgotten you. And if anyone can convince him of the legitimacy of our marriage, it's going to be you. I'm afraid you're going to break his tiny little heart, you really should be ashamed of yourself.” Tsking at me, he shook his head in mock-disappointment and shot me a sly wink. I could feel my blood beginning to boil and balled my hands into fists, pressing my nails hard into the balls of my hands to keep me from lashing out. I had to play my cards right, if I wanted to beat him at his own game and so I forced my body to relax. Jim seemed disappointed, that he didn't get me to react the way he wanted to and rolling his eyes at me, he stood from his seat.

“Well, now that that's settled, I'm going to inform Tiger about the good news and call ahead to the registry, so that everything will be ready when we arrive. There is a bedroom in the back, maybe you should go and lie down, you look like you need it. You don't want to look like a walking corpse in your wedding pictures, do you?”

“Have you looked in the mirror recently? Your face looks like you had a run in with a gang of wild monkeys. Maybe we should postpone the whole wedding thing until you look like a human again?”

Touching his face, as if he had in fact forgotten about his injuries, he smirked at me knowingly, radiating smugness.

“Nice try, Ally-Bean. The pictures will just have to wait till the party then.”

“Party? What are you on about?”

The smugness he exuded just seemed to intensify and worry started to settle in my stomach. What was he up to now?

“Our wedding party of course! Where I will introduce you to the finest of Londons underground, so that everyone will know you belong with me. It's in three weeks, because honestly, I didn't think you would agree to this as fast as you did. But luckily, it should give my face enough time to heal, so all's well that ends well as they say.”

His words still rang in my ears, when he strode off towards the front of the plane. Marrying him didn't really change anything, legally I already had his last name, but introducing me to Londons criminals was a brilliant move on his part. Before, I had gone relatively unnoticed, due to the fact that Jim had kept me under lock and key most of the time, so no one really knew I existed. Apparently he had learned from his past mistake and decided to make it known, who I was. He probably hoped, that with people knowing my face and my connection to him, it would make it harder for me to go behind his back. But it seemed he severely underestimated my desire to bring him down and I was determined to use everything I could to reach that goal, even if that meant schmoozing up to mobsters and other criminals.

Because one thing was for sure, James Moriarty **was** going down, even if it was the last thing I would ever do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there lovely readers, I'm back with another chapter! For now I've decided to update once a week, to give myself enough time for everything else I'm writing on besides this (currently I'm working on four different stories at the same time, including the ones I've already started to publish here).  
Without further ado, enjoy!

One hour into the flight, I found myself yawning excessively and was seriously contemplating to go lay down in the bedroom Jim had mentioned. I knew from the last time I had flown this route, that we had at least an hour and a half still to go and that would give me enough time for a quick nap. Another big yawn cemented my decision and I got up from my seat and walked further back into the plane. Just like he had said, there was a bedroom back there, furnished in the same mix of beige and grey as the rest of the jet and the bed looked more than comfortable. Taking off my shoes, I slipped in, nestling myself into the fluffy pillows and cocooning myself inside the heavy duvet. It didn't take long for me to drift away, the steady sound of the turbines lulling me into sleep.

  
  


I was dreaming about me and Sherlock lying in his bed together, him softly kissing down my neck, his hands inside my panties, gently stroking me. It felt so real, that for a moment, I was convinced, that it wasn't a dream but that I really was there with him. Somehow that thought managed to wake me and I soon realised, why it had felt that way.

“If you want to keep your hand, get it the fuck out of my panties right this minute”, I growled lowly in my throat. I could feel Jims annoyed huff against my neck, but luckily he didn't argue with me and removed his hand, sitting up on the bed and pouting down at me.

“Spoilsport. It's not like you didn't like it, I could feel how wet you are, you know.” Scooting farther away from him and sitting up myself, I glared at him.

“Well, for your information, I was dreaming about Sherlock, so there you go. And you can't really fault my body for reacting to stimulation, especially not, when I wasn't even conscious. Not that something like that would matter to you, we both know you don't care about consent.”

He just shrugged is shoulders, as if what I had said didn't phase him in the least.

“To be fair, besides you, I have never forced myself on anyone. And I don't really felt the need to ask for your consent, seeing as you belong to me and all that.”

“Oh, doesn't that make me feel special now. Newsflash though, I don't belong to you and I never have, so don't try that shit again or I will personally castrate you. Understood?” Rolling his eyes at me, he muttered an affirmative under his breath and then just stared at me.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” I was more than annoyed now and just wanted him out of my face, but obviously that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. There was no response from him and I started to feel uncomfortable under his relentless staring, deciding it was time for me to get up. Just as I was about to swing my legs off the side of the bed, his hand shot forward, gripping tightly onto my wrist. Scowling at him, I tried to rip my hand out of his grasp, but his hold on me was too strong for me to break.

“For fucks sake Jim, what do you want?” Instead of answering me, he forcefully jerked me towards him, catching me off guard and so I ended up pressed flush against his chest, our faces much too close for my comfort. Before I could wriggle away from him, his arm snaked around my waist, pressing me even closer to his body and I couldn't help the shiver that ran through me at our close proximity. I tried not to let it show, how much he was affecting me, reasoning with myself that it was just conditioned behaviour that I had no real control over, but of course he caught on to it and leaned his head closer to whisper in my ear.

“You can deny it all you want kitten, but I can see how you react to me. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise, we belong together and I know, that you can feel it too. So why don't you just give in already?” He ran his tongue over my earlobe and I had to suppress a moan at the feeling, steeling my resolve, before I did something stupid again. I had to take control of the situation before things could really escalate, so I turned my head a bit and nipped at his ear, giving him some of his own medicine and eliciting a moan from him.

“Don't mistake my reaction to you as anything other than conditioned behaviour. You spend over a decade moulding and twisting both my body and my mind to fit your perverted version of the perfect little plaything for yourself. Nothing about this is real, everything you think I feel for you is nothing more than smoke and mirrors, implemented by you. If you want a real connection, you have to look somewhere else for it.” With a snarl he released his hold around my waist and wrist, only to bury both of his hands in my hair, tilting my head back, so he could look directly in my face.

“You don't seem to have listened to me before. When I said you are the only one I forced myself on, I meant, that there has been no one else. Ever. Do you understand what I'm saying to you, Alice? You are the only one, that I have ever been interested in in that way and I will never stop coming after you. We belong together, you and I. And even if it takes another decade for you to accept that, I will stop at nothing to make you mine.” His lips crashed down on me, his hands still buried in my hair and to my own horror, I felt myself responding, as he kissed me like a man possessed.

Which after his heated speech he apparently was. Possessed by the need to own me, to make me his no matter what I thought or felt about that. It left me reeling, that he admitted it so openly, I was always under the impression, that he just wanted to have an obedient little puppet, that would do everything he asked. But, if what he just told me wasn't just another ploy to get me on his side, then it went way deeper than that and it genuinely scared me, because it meant, that this whole marriage thing wouldn't just be a way to make me and Sherlock miserable as I had first suspected. I had to tread very carefully from now on, because nothing was more unpredictable than an obsessed crazy person. Unfortunately for me, I had gotten really bad at impulse control, especially when it came to my temper and adding all of this together, was a sure way straight towards disaster. All that ran through my head in only a fraction of a second, but it was enough to get myself together again and push Jim away. I winced, when the abrupt motion made me loose some of my hair, because his fingers got tangled in the strands, but the distance it put between us helped to clear my head even more. Jim was breathing heavily, his dark-brown irises swallowed almost completely by his expanded pupils and he made a move to grab me again, which prompted me to scramble off of the bed in a hurry, resulting in me tumbling ungracefully to the ground.

Standing up on wobbly legs, I refused to even look in his direction, snatching my shoes and all but ran out of the room without even so much as a backwards glance. I knew, that he knew, that the kiss had affected me more than I was willing to admit and once again I cursed myself for not being able to control my reactions towards him. As I had explained to him earlier, it was mainly his conditioning but a small part of me, the part I always tried to ignore, preened over the fact, that I was affecting him as well and I hated it. I didn't want to have any feelings other than hatred towards him, but lets face the facts here, I'm all kinds of fucked up thanks to him, so it was only logical, that a part of me was responding that way. Of course I could use his feelings for me for my own gain, but it was a tightrope I had to be balancing on and I was afraid, that playing into that, was only going to make me fall even deeper under his spell. I couldn't afford to let something like that happen, I had to keep my goal in mind and not let myself get distracted.

My thoughts automatically went back to him admitting, that there had never been anyone else but me and I started wondering if that was really true. It had never even crossed my mind, that I could be the only one, but now that I thought about it, it made total sense. We had almost always been together, never being apart for more than a few hours at a time and there had never been any other females around, except for staff or his workers of course. My head was starting to ache from this constant pondering of his motives and I buried my face in my hands, rubbing my fingers against my eyes. Even though I had taken a nap, I felt even more tired now, my mind reeling from this new information that had been dumped on me.

I more felt than heard someone settling in the seat next to me, but I refused to look at who it was. Not that there were many people it could be, but I just wasn't ready to face either Jim or Sebastian. But of course no one cared what I wanted and I inwardly groaned as the person started talking to me.

“You know, if you could just accept what he is offering you, it would make things easier on all of us.” A mirthless laugh slipped past my lips and I straightened in my seat to stare at Sebastian, who was looking at me almost imploringly.

“And what exactly is he offering me, hmm? A place at his feet, where he can kick me around if he feels like it, just as before? Oh yes, that sounds really lovely.” Sighing, he ran a hand through his short blonde hair, looking out of the window to stare silently at the passing clouds, before turning back to me.

“I'm going to tell you something, that Jim probably doesn't want you to know. After we left you in that basement, he completely lost his shit. I have never seen him like that and honestly? It was scary as fuck. He trashed the whole house once we got back and at first, I just thought he was angry because things didn't work out like he wanted them to. But then he got a call from the hospital, confirming your death and he just stood there in the ruins of his office, not moving, barely breathing. And you know what happened then?” Shaking my head, I motioned with my hand for him to continue, wanting to know the rest, against my better judgement.

“He just collapsed where he stood and started crying. That is a sight I will never forget in all my life. Jim Moriarty, the man everyone is shitting their pants over at the mere mention of his name, rolled into a ball on the ground and sobbing like his heart was ripped right out of his chest. It took me nearly two hours to get him to calm down and for the next two weeks, all he did was sit around and stare into space. I had to force him to eat and drink, or else he would've just wasted away into nothing and I think that was what he wanted. You have no idea, how fucking relieved I was, when word reached me that you were still alive. As soon as I told him, it was like someone had switched the light back on and for the last few months, he did nothing else but try to find out where you were. I'm pretty sure he lost a lot of money by ignoring everything else around him. And I know you don't believe that he has any genuine feelings for you, but he does. He loves you with an intensity, that is fucking scary and I don't think you even realise it. I know it must be hard to see past everything that happened, but do you think you could at least try to give him a chance?”

I was sure my mouth was hanging open after what he just told me and I couldn't even begin to fathom what it must have been like to see Jim like that. But what was I supposed to do with this information? They both acted as if nothing was amiss, as if the things they both did to me were nothing and I was hung up on them for no reason. Quite frankly, it pissed me off to no end and whatever pity Sebastian wanted me to feel for Jim, was overshadowed by everything else that had happened up until this point. I could feel my anger getting the best of me and my hands instinctively balled into fists as I tried in vain to control my rage.

“How dare you try to make me feel sorry for him! After everything you put me through, do you really think, that I give a fuck? I'm done with both of you, you hear me? I'm only here, because you two shitheads won't leave me the fuck alone! So no, I'm not going to give him anymore chances and I most definitely am never going to be his ever again! You can both go to hell!”

I was screaming down at him, never even noticing that I had stood up. When I tried to move past him, he made a move to stop me and I hissed at him like a feral cat.

“Don't you dare touch me you piece of shit or I swear to god, I will rip out your throat with my bare hands!”

Whatever he saw in my eyes seemingly convinced him that it was a bad idea to continue on his path, so he held up his hands in surrender and let me go. Of course I didn't get very far, we were still in a plane after all and there weren't many places for me to go, so I decided I would just lock myself in the toilet, so I could have at least a modicum of privacy. And because today was apparently my lucky day, the toilet was of course only reachable through the bedroom, with Jim still in it. Seriously, fuck my life. I was so done with all of this and briefly contemplated on just jumping out of this god damn plane and put an end to this never-ending nightmare. But I still had a job to do and I had promised myself, that I would see it through and that would be a tad bit difficult if the only thing left of me was just a bloody splash on the ground.

Storming into the bedroom, I shot Jim a look full of fire, hissing at him to not speak a word to me, before I slammed the door to the bathroom shut and sunk down on the tiled floor. I hadn't meant to start crying, but it didn't take long for the tears to flow freely down my face. As soon as the tears started, they stopped and I felt myself getting angry again. My own emotions were giving me whiplash with their constant changing from one extreme to the next and it was exhausting, to say the least. It hadn't been this way back in Iceland, but then again, I had been all by myself instead of being stuck with the two people, I despised most in this world.

Oh, how I wished I could just get past everything that happened, not because I wanted to re-conciliate, but because I longed for the feeling of indifference. It would make everything so much easier than the confusing mix of emotions I was experiencing now. I don't know how long I sat there curled up on the floor with my back to the door, but it must've been long enough for us to reach our destination, because the voice of the pilot came over the speakers, informing us, that we were about to land. Picking myself of the floor with a groan, I straightened my rumpled clothes, splashed some cold water in my face and reached for the doorknob.

“Showtime.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Thankfully I'm all better now, though my back still hurts slightly during certain movements, I can at least turn back to living my life without constantly crying out in pain, so yay me! A special thank you to Chanteuse13 for the well wishes that were left on my announcement (I deleted the 'chapter' because I didn't want to muddle up the legitimate chapter-count, so your comment is gone unfortunately)  
With all that said, here is another chapter for you lovely readers. Please enjoy!

There was an awkward silence hanging in the air, as we drove through London. I hadn't acknowledged neither Jim nor Sebastian, when we had disembarked the plane on a private airfield just outside the city and I was still ignoring their existence, when we had all filed into the car. This time, Jim was sitting with me in the back and Sebastian was driving as per usual. From the corner of my eye, I could see Jim glancing at me occasionally and he seemed to get more agitated, the longer I stayed silent. Inwardly, I was revelling in the fact, that I could make him loose his cool, but outwardly, a neutral expression remained on my face, as I gazed out of the window.

Of course it was raining, which didn't necessarily do anything to improve my mood. It was weird seeing the familiar streets and buildings around me, after living in isolation for the last months and my eyes scanned my surroundings, looking for changes that happened while I was away. Big cities like this one were constantly changing, while essentially still staying the same. I spotted a few new stores I was most certain hadn't been there before, but mostly, everything looked the same. Sometimes it caught me off guard, that no matter how many times my life falls apart, the world keeps on turning, day in and day out, no matter how much misery happens on this planet. The universe doesn't care about us puny little humans, in the grand scheme of things we are little more than a blip in time and space. Regardless of how much we strive to leave behind a legacy, to make people remember us after we're gone, in the end it is all for nothing. Jims voice interrupted my mental downwards spiral, but I refused still refused to even look at him.

“We're going straight to city hall, in case you were wondering.”

Whatever response he intended to elicit from me, I made no sign of even hearing him speaking to me, my eyes focussed on the outside. But apparently he had had enough, because my head was suddenly wrenched to the side, his hand buried in my hair, making me wince from the harshness of his grip. I just stared into his dark eyes, still not saying a word, even though I knew, that my behaviour would only spell trouble, but my mood had turned pretty dark and I had no interest in dealing with his little mind-games right now. With a snarl, he pushed me back against the window, turning away from me and angrily muttering under his breath. My gaze returned to the window once again and I traced one of the rain-drops that were sliding down the glass with my fingertips, watching as it disappeared into the small gap between the door and the window. The further we drove, the more I felt myself shut down, my thoughts turning darker and darker.

“Maybe I'm going to do us all a favour and finish what you failed to do last time.”

The words left my mouth, before I could really think them through, they were just a reflection of the oppressing hopelessness I felt at the moment, but the deafening silence that followed my proclamation finally made me turn around and acknowledge Jim. He was staring at me, with something in his eyes, that I had no idea he was even capable of feeling: pity. To my utter horror, tears started filling my eyes, slowly rolling down my cheeks and I brushed them away angrily. What the hell was wrong with me? Maybe I should think about taking some form of medication that would stabilise my terrible mood-swings. Jim was reaching for my hand in what I could only assume to be an attempt at comforting me, but I flinched away from his touch almost violently, banging my elbow against the door in the process.

The sharp pain helped to clear my head a little and the tears stopped almost immediately. Jim instantly noticed my sudden change in emotion and he looked at me as if he finally figured out the answer to a question he had been asking himself for a while. I didn't like it one bit, but before I could further examine the thought, we came to a stop and my focus was diverted away from him. Reaching for the handle, I was about the exit the car, glad to put at least some space between us, when Jims voice stopped me.

“Oh, I forgot to mention, I might have informed your favourite detective to meet us outside.” Gritting my teeth in annoyance, I simply nodded my head and stepped out onto the wet pavement. I should have expected him to do something underhanded like this, but at least I had a bit of a warning now. Sebastian had parked on the side of a street a few blocks away, because there was no direct access to city hall by car. Jim was walking next to me, holding an umbrella over both of our heads to keep us somewhat safe from the down-pour. It didn't take long for the towering monstrosity that was city hall to appear before us and nerves started swirling in my stomach. Was Sherlock really going to be there? And how was I supposed to react if he was? I couldn't exactly run into his arms like a long lost lover, that would most certainly not go over very well with Jims possessiveness.

I wasn't ready to face Sherlock again, but I could already see his large frame pacing in front of the entrance and he stopped in his tracks, when he spotted us coming towards him. His gaze zeroed in on me, examining me from head to toe, probably to look for any injuries, until his shoulders minutely sagged in relief after finding no obvious signs of harm. Jim had a diabolical smirk on his face, as he linked our arms together and pulled me along with him, until we stood right in front of the consulting detective.

“How kind of you to meet us on such short notice, my dear. Though I have to say, I'm a bit disappointed, that you didn't bring your little pet with you. I'm sure someone as ordinary as him would have loved to attend a wedding.”

Sherlock tried to show no reaction to Jims words, but a nerve underneath his eyes twitched and you could see how hard he was clenching his teeth. And if I could see it, then Jim could as well, which was only confirmed, when he chuckled lightly under his breath, shooting Sherlock a sly grin.

“Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't I mention, that that's why we are here? Alice was gracious enough to accept my marriage proposal and I mean, why waste any more time? You can be one of the witnesses if you like, seeing as you and my beloved fiancé used to be close.”

Ripping my arm away from him, I glared at Jim, once again fed up with his bullshit.

“Fuck you, Jim! Let's just get this shit over with, so I can go home and take a nap. I'm tired of your games for today.”

Turning around to Sherlock, I smiled up at him gently, my hand lightly touching his arm as I moved past him, whispering so only he could hear.

“It's good to see you again, Sherlock.”

He didn't smile back, but there was a warmth in his multicoloured eyes that assured me, more than anything he could have said, that his feelings for me hadn't changed. It made what I was about to do even more depressing, but I held my head up high while we walked into city hall, not wanting anyone to see, how hard this really was for me.

  
  


The ceremony itself passed by in a blur, Sherlock thankfully opted out of being a witness, proceeding to stand in one corner of the room and I could feel his intense gaze on me the entire time. One of Jims men had arrived shortly after us, standing in as a witness besides Sebastian. I didn't listen to a word the guy who officiated the marriage said, instead I was getting lost in my own head again, almost missing when I had to sign the marriage register and only being alerted to the fact by a sharp elbow to my ribs from Jim. After we signed the paperwork, Jim pulled out a small box from inside his suit, opening it to reveal two golden wedding-bands. Reluctantly putting my hand in his outstretched one, I watched with a sinking feeling in my gut, as he slipped the ring onto my finger, a more than pleased expression on his face.

For a minute, I pondered if I could just refuse to do the same for him, but in the end there was nothing to gain from such an act of defiance. After a few last words from the registrar, we were finally done and Jim grabbed my arm, almost skipping out of the room with me. He was way to happy about all of this and not for the first time, I was questioning his motives for this farce. But maybe that was the problem, maybe it wasn't so much a farce as simply his honest desire to make me his wife. I scoffed at myself for thinking such a foolish thing and Jim raised one of his eyebrows at me questioningly, but refrained from saying anything, continuing to pull me along on our way out of city hall.

When we reached the doors, I glanced back over my shoulder, looking for Sherlock, our eyes connecting only for a moment, before Jim tugged me outside. He obviously didn't want me to talk to his nemesis again, his grip on my arm feeling like a band of steel, with no chance of getting free unless he let me go. We didn't speak to each other, as we made our way back to the car, but I could practically feel the giddy excitement radiating off of him and quite frankly, it worried me. He was planning something, of that I was sure, but I had no idea as to what it may be. My only course of action right now, was to keep alert, despite the bone-deep exhaustion that was weighing me down and I eyed him suspiciously out of the corner of my eye, while we drove back to his house.

I had rolled my eyes at him, when he had told me, that he was looking forward to having me back home again, but he had just smirked at me, unsettling me even more. To my surprise, our destination was the same house he had lived in the last time I had been with him and I was once again baffled by his cockiness of hiding in plain sight. I had figured, that he would have relocated after everything went down, the location of his hide-out compromised, but it seemed that he didn't care one bit about that. Or, more likely, he wanted the people who cared about me to know where I was and remind them, that there was nothing they could do about it. Rubbing salt into an open wound seemed like a very Jim-thing to do, after all.

The three of us got out of the car and I looked up at the house in front of me, the memories of my last stay here still fresh in my mind and I had to suppress a shudder. Sebastian had already disappeared inside the mansion, but Jim was standing in the doorway, looking at me expectantly and with a heavy sigh, I tentatively stepped around him and into the lobby. Everything looked the same as before and it suddenly hit me, that Jim was probably expecting me to sleep in the same bed as him and a feeling of dread crept up my spine, making my shoulders tense. Shooting him a glance, I noticed him watching me like a hawk, an unreadable expression on his face and I frowned at him in response.

“Stop looking at me like that. And by the way, which room am I going to sleep in? Because I'm sure as hell not going to share a bed with you, just so were clear.”

Jims lips formed into a mock pout, before he smiled sickeningly sweet at me, a glimmer of something I couldn't name in his eyes.

“Luckily for you, I already anticipated your refusal to sleep with your husband, so I had one of the bedrooms upstairs made ready for you. I will show you after we had our celebratory drinks.”

I eyed him suspiciously, his lack of fighting me over sleeping somewhere else raising red flags in my mind, but I nodded my head in acquiescence nonetheless, following him into the kitchen. Sebastian was standing at the counter, three flutes of champagne already prepared in front of him and with a grin that could only be described as malicious, Jim took two of the glasses and handed one to me.

Raising it in the air, he made a toast, “To us, may our marriage be long and fruitful.”

There was a special connotation on the last word, the alarm bells in my head ringing loudly and I was contemplating on accidentally spilling the contents of my glass on the floor, convinced, that he had ordered Sebastian to put something in there.

“Oh, for goodness sake, give me that.”

Jim noticed my hesitation and with a roll of his eyes, he took the glass from me, draining the contents in one gulp, sneering at me after he swallowed it down.

“See? There is nothing wrong with it. But if it makes you feel better, Sebastian can open a new bottle for you.”

Snapping his fingers at his second in command, the blonde let out a huff, retrieving another bottle of champagne from the fridge and making an exaggerated show of removing the seal, showing me that it hadn't been opened before. Jim took the now open bottle from him and filled my glass back up, handing it back to me. I was tired after the day I just had and wanted nothing more than to retreat into my room and be done with them for today, so I ignored my reservations and made short work of the fizzy wine, the bubbles making my nose tickle uncomfortably.

Taking the empty glass out of my hand, Jim placed it back on the counter and dragged me out of the kitchen and up the stairs, all the while smiling to himself. He led me to a room in the opposite hallway from where his bedroom and study were and after quickly showing me around and pointing out the en-suite, he wished me goodnight, closing the door behind him. There had been a sly look in his dark eyes the entire time, but I was way too tired to try and figure out why that might be. Luckily the door could be locked from the inside, not that that would really keep anyone in this house away, if they wanted to enter, but it gave me at least a modicum of feeling safe.

Divesting myself off my clothes and donning on a pair of silk pyjamas I found in the adjacent walk-in-closet, I slipped under the covers, suddenly even more tired then before, barely able to keep my eyes open. I was dimly aware of how odd that was, but before I could examine that thought any further, my consciousness faded away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and criticism is greatly appreciated and a thank you to everyone who likes my work enough to leave kudos! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, after over a month of absence, I'm back again with a new chapter, yay! Hopefully I will be able to continue with weekly updates again, but I don't want to promise anything, in case writers-block hits me unexpectedly 
> 
> If you have any ideas for what you like to see in upcoming chapters, don't feel shy and leave a comment! I'm essentially making this up as I go along, so there is plenty of wiggle room here. 
> 
> Now, enough talk, please enjoy!

I awoke the next morning, feeling like I had been run over by a train and then thrown in a human-sized blender just for good measure. My head felt about ready to explode and the disgusting taste in my bone-dry mouth, nearly made me gag. What on earth happened to me? And where even was I? My mind took it's sweet ass time to supply me with helpful answers, the fog around my brain nearly impenetrable. Very, very slowly the past day emerged through said fog and my body immediately stiffened, when I remembered where I currently was and how I came to be here. Squeezing my eyes shut, in hopes of my memories just being a fever dream or something, I slowly exhaled through my nose, trying to calm down.

A sudden wave of nausea made my stomach lurch dangerously and my eyes shot open again, frantically searching for something to hurl into. I nearly tripped over the blanket in my haste to get to the bathroom and no sooner had I reached the toilet, the contents of my stomach violently ejected themselves into the pristinely white porcelain-bowl. Once everything seemed to be out, I lay my sweaty face against the cool surface of the toilet-seat, not caring in the slightest if this was unsanitary and let out a groan. Closing my eyes, I tried to get the room to stop spinning like a carousel on crack, weakly reaching up to flush the disgusting and reeking mess down the pipes. An image of Jim putting a flute filled with champagne in my hand, suddenly appeared behind my closed eye-lids and I furrowed my brows in confusion. When had that happened? Racking my brain for an answer to that particular question, more flashes of last night crashed back into me, particularly ones of a sweaty looking Jim moving above me. Now that my stomach wasn't as upset anymore, I really took note of the aches in my body, especially the one between my legs and a bone-chilling realisation hit me: That fucker had drugged me!

“That conniving little shit!”, I hissed out through clenched teeth, rage bubbling up inside of me so intensely, that my vision went red for a moment.

Of course he would do something like that, probably convincing himself it was the right thing to do, to consummate our farce of a marriage. My eyes went wide like saucers, when I suddenly remembered his remark from last night, about how he hoped our marriage would be fruitful. Surely he didn't mean...? But who was I kidding, of course he meant that he wanted to put a bun in my oven, what better way to keep me shackled to him than to get me pregnant with his offspring. If I thought I had been angry before, it was nothing to what I was feeling now. Despite my weakened state, I pushed myself off of the tiled floor and stumbled back into the bedroom, only now realizing, that I was stark naked. Looking down at my body, I noticed several new bruises covering my hips and what I assumed to be hickeys littered both my breasts. If I hadn't been so fucking furious right now, I might have cried over being violated that way, _again_, but as it stood, I simply put on my clothes from yesterday, that lay neatly folded on a chair near the bed and stormed out of the room. The first floor was eerily silent, which meant, that the target of my rage would most likely be in the kitchen, so I practically flew down the stairs and stomped down the hallway.

And there he sat, reading a newspaper and sipping his coffee, as if nothing was amiss in the world and to him it probably wasn't. Seeing him sitting there so nonchalantly, only made me more angry and before I realized it, I had taken a knife out of the butchers block and thrown it at him. To my immense pleasure, it buried itself in his arm and he let out a blood-curdling scream at the sudden pain. Before he had time to do anything more than scream though, I was on him, roughly pulling the knife out of his arm, which elicited another scream that sounded like music to my ears. I took his hand and nailed it to the wooden dining-table before he had the chance to pull away, the knife going through the flesh and muscles in his hand like warm butter and I faintly thought to thank Moran for keeping them this sharp. His face was contorted in pain, as I leaned closer to him, keeping pressure on the knife, while I talked.

“Listen here you little shit. If you pull a stunt like that again, I'm going to do more than just pin your damn hand to the table, you hear me? I told you before, that I wouldn't play your games anymore, but you obviously didn't believe me. If you ever do so much as touch me without me giving you explicit consent to do so, I'm going to slowly, very slowly peel the skin of your pathetic excuse of a dick and feed it to you. Do you understand me?” When he didn't answer and just stared up at me with a mixture of awe, anger and pain, I began wiggling the knife, making him howl in response, blood spurting from his pinned appendage and onto the table.

“I said: DO.YOU.UNDERSTAND.ME?”, I screamed into his face, punctuating each word with another harsh wiggle.

“YES, I UNDERSTAND! Now get that thing out of my hand, please!”, he all but whimpered and I shoot him a scathing look, finally letting go of the knife and straightening back into my full height.

“Take care of it yourself, you big baby. I'm going out.” Turning around, I noticed Moran standing in the doorway, seemingly frozen to the spot, staring at me as if seeing me for the first time and maybe it really felt that way to him.

My initial rage had abated somewhat at this point, seeing the blood seeping from Jim's body had satisfied some dark part inside of me, that wanted to make him feel the same pain he constantly inflicted on me. But I was still in no mood to take anymore shit, so when the big blonde tried to block my way out, I snarled at him, like some rabid animal.

“Get out of the fucking way Moran, or I swear to God, I will do much worse to you than I did to him.” He hesitated for a few seconds, but whatever he saw in my expression seemed to convince him to let me pass and I stormed back into the foyer, not even bothering to put on my coat, as I flung open the door and made my temporary escape.

I wandered down the long and winding path to the front gate, intent on climbing the fucking fence if I had to, but luckily for me, the gate was open. Randomly deciding on a direction, I walked for what felt like hours, my anger slowly abating completely and worry started to gnaw at my insides. In the moment, it had felt good to make Jim bleed and scream in pain, but now that I was able to think rational again, I knew that my actions would have consequences. There was no way, that he would just gloss over the fact, that I put a fucking knife through his hand and imagining my punishment for such an act of violence against him, made me shiver uncomfortably and not only from the cold wind whipping against my bare arms. Speaking of the cold, I really regretted not taking my coat with me, because at this point it felt like I was slowly freezing to death.

When I had first come to live with Jim, I had marvelled over the fact, that his mansion was so close to the city and right now, it was exactly to my advantage, because I could already see the glimmering lights of London in the distance. Steeling my resolve, I trotted on, destination clear in mind and it didn't take long, until I reached a more populated area. I had been walking through the streets for no more than half an hour, when a sleek, black towns car came to a stop next to me and the back door opened to reveal the one person I wanted to see more than anything right now. When he stepped out of the car, I flung myself at him, burying my face into his coat and inhaling deeply. His familiar scent enveloped me like a blanket, immediately calming my frazzled nerves and a choked sob escaped my dry lips, as his arms crushed me against his tall frame.

“I'm so sorry Mycroft, I should have fought harder or tried to run or...” He interrupted me gently, rubbing soothing circles on my back, before letting go of me and taking my hands in his .

“There is nothing you could've done, we both know that. If anyone should apologize, it should be me. I assured you, that you would be safe and I couldn't deliver on that promise. I failed yet again in my desire to keep you away from him and... “He cut off, looking down at my hands and his expression turned from remorse into concern.

“Are you hurt?” His question confused me, until I took note of the dried blood on my fingers and I chuckled darkly.

“Don't worry Myc, it's not my blood”, I tried to reassure him, but my answer didn't seem to alleviate his concern in the slightest, quite the opposite actually.

Scrutinizing my face and looking for I don't know what, he raised his eyebrows at me and slowly shook his head, unease evident in his eyes.

“I'm worried about you Alice. It is bad enough, that he brought you back here, but I fear for the worst, if you keep letting your anger get the better of you. It goes against everything inside of me, but for your sake, I urge you to at least try and be cordial towards him. Only until we can find a way to get you out of his grasp for good.” His eyes bore into mine, silently imploring me to adhere to his advice, but his words only left a bitter taste in my mouth and I felt my blood beginning to boil once again, though I tried to keep my voice level.

“I understand where you're coming from, I really do. But I can't let him continue to walk all over me, not after everything I already went through. I woke up today, sore all over, only to realise, that he had drugged my drink the evening before and raped me while I was barely conscious. He intends to get me pregnant, Myc. I can't let that happen, it would bind me to him for the rest of my life and I would rather die than to end up like that.”

Mycroft seemed almost taken aback at the force of my last words, but I had to make him understand, that surrender, even for the sake of my own survival, wasn't an option at this point. I meant what I had said, I would favour death over being shackled to Jim Moriarty forever. Letting out a defeated sigh, Mycroft patted me on the shoulder a bit awkwardly, his displeasure obvious in his distinct features and more than anything I wanted to reassure him, that it would be alright, but those would've been nothing more than empty words and we would both know it.

“We should get you out of the cold, my dear. It can't be very beneficial to your health, running around in this kind of weather without wearing a coat.”

I knew, he was just trying to lighten the mood, but I would take it, if it meant we could dispel the sudden tension, so without another word, I got into the car. The comfortable leather-seats felt heavenly against my sore body and I sunk deeper into my seat, greedily absorbing the warmth inside the vehicle. Mycroft was still on the side-walk, now speaking into his phone and I was pretty certain, that he was talking to the younger Holmes and informing him about my current whereabouts. My heart started to beat faster and my palms began to sweat at the thought of seeing Sherlock again, especially so soon after yesterday. By the time Mycroft had ended the call and had joined me inside the car, I was reduced to a quivering nervous mess, anxiously scratching at my bare arm until the older Holmes brother took my hand in his, to stop me from hurting myself. He didn't say anything, just squeezed my hand reassuringly from time to time, while we drove on in silence.

It was all to soon, that we came to a stop in front of an all to familiar block of houses and I swallowed thickly, when my eyes were immediately drawn to the gleaming brass numbers on one particular black door. Mycroft was the first one to exit and he waited patiently for me to follow him, while I felt frozen in my seat, hesitant to face what might be heading my way if I went inside that building. Inwardly scolding myself for my cowardice, I gathered whatever courage I was able to muster and got out of the car, following Mycroft to the door. He was just about to reach for the door-knob, when the door flew open and Sherlock carelessly shouldered his way past his brother, nearly knocking him over.

Before I could comprehend what was going on, I was pressed against his lean body, his long arms almost crushing me and making my ribs scream in protest at the pressure. Nonetheless I reciprocated the hug, almost melting against him in my relief to be finally able to touch him and feel him against me. I don't know, at which point I started crying, but when he finally let go of me, he gently took my face into his hands, brushing away my tears with the saddest smile I had ever seen on anybody, which only made me cry even harder. This beautiful, brilliant man deserved so much better than what I was putting him through and apologies spilled out of my mouth, before I could stop them. He interrupted my chant of repeatedly saying how sorry I was, with his soft lips against mine, expertly shutting me up on the spot.

As cheesy as it may sound, fireworks exploded in my brain, my thought-process completely short-circuited as soon as his lips touched mine and molten heat travelled all throughout my body until I felt like I was on fire from the inside. I may have let out an indecently loud moan, but I didn't feel embarrassed by it, after all, I had waited months for the chance to do this again. Unfortunately my brain suddenly decided to compare the way Sherlock kissed me, to the way Jim's lips felt against mine and the thought was like a bucket of ice-water being dumped over me, making me break our kiss in response.

We were both panting a bit, our foreheads pressed together, while he still held me tightly against himself. This should have been a joyous occasion, but all I could think about, was how I essentially cheated on him with Jim, even if we weren't _'officially' _together. But now, being back in his arms, even if it was only temporary, I felt like the worst piece of shit in the known universe and even though I dreaded having to tell him, I knew that I had to, in spite of the possibility, that he might want nothing to do with me anymore, when he learned about my transgression. Reluctantly pulling away from him, I looked into his beautiful, multicoloured eyes and ran a fingertip along one of his sharp cheekbones, trying to memorize how his soft skin felt against my own, just in case this might be the last time, I was going to be able to touch him like that.

“We need to talk.”

  
  


  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you everyone who leaves kudos on this work, it really means a lot to me! Be safe and have a great day! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, I'm so very sorry for taking so long to update this. I kind of lost my muse for this fic for a while and didn't really know how to continue with the story. Fortunately for you, my muse did come back though. So, hurray I guess? You can certainly thank Hemlock Grove, funnily enough, because I started writing a few iterations of a fic for that series as well after having watched it recently. Not sure if I'm ready to post any of it yet, or if anyone would even be interested in reading it. Aaaaanyway.... During writing that, I got inspired for this fic again and voila, here we are!
> 
> Enjoy!

After a tearful reunion with John and Mrs. Hudson, well tearful only on Mrs. Hudson s part because apparently someone had forgotten to inform her that I wasn't actually dead, I found myself sitting on Sherlock's sofa, cradling a cup of tea in my hands. Mycroft had left as soon as Mrs. Hudson's waterworks had begun and John had to leave for work, so it was only me and Sherlock now. He was staring at me from across the room, seated in his usual chair, as I told him about everything that had happened since a certain someone had found me, leaving no detail out. I couldn't look at him when I told him about how I had fucked Jim in the bunker, tears streaming down my face as I kept talking through the lump in my throat, coming to an end with telling him what happened this morning and why. He remained silent for a long time and I carefully glanced up at him through misty eyes, trying to gauge his current mood. As soon as our eyes connected, he shook his head at me, looking rather disappointed and the lump in my throat got bigger, making it hard to swallow.

“I really wish you hadn't done that. Being back to living with him is dangerous enough, but with you attacking him like that, I'm afraid there are going to be consequences. As much as it pains me to admit, I have to agree with Mycroft on that one. You should at least try to play nice as they say until we can figure out a way to get you away from him for good.” His voice sounded monotone and empty and I blinked at him in surprise, having expected him to say something about me sleeping with Jim. As his words sunk in though, I felt my self get angry again, just like I had when his brother had suggested the same. 

“That's real easy for you to say. You don't have to live in fear that he is going to tie you to a bed and fill you with his disgusting seed until it keeps. How do you expect me to go along with that? Because that's what would happen if I started 'playing nice'.” My voice had risen with every word I was saying, at some point I had jumped up from my seat and had started pacing back and forth. “You didn't seem to mind his disgusting seed when you were willingly having sex with him. Why is this any different? Just keep up on birth-control and everything will be fine.” Spinning around to face him, I saw the anger I had been waiting for now clearly on his face, though his tone had been cold, almost clinical 

“So this is why you agree with your brother? I'm sorry for doing this to you, I truly am, more than you can ever imagine, but how long do you think it will take him to figure out that I take said birth-control? And what happens then? Do you expect me to carry his child? I don't think you would be any happier about that than about me sleeping with your enemy.” My temper had cooled down again, fresh tears spilling down my already wet cheeks, but my words still held heat within them. 

The thought of letting it get to the point where I actually became pregnant filled me with absolute dread and I hugged my arms around my middle to keep me from shaking. I had had a contraceptive injection before I left for Iceland, but that had been a little over three months ago at this points, so I was due for another if I wanted to keep it effective. That also meant I had to go to a doctor to give me said injection and I was pretty sure, that Jim was going to have me followed from now on, if he didn't have already. I knew it could potentially take up to a year before I would be able to conceive again, but it could also happen quicker than that. It was just a risk I was unwilling to take and I couldn't understand, why no one seemed to be as worried about this as I was. 

“Does it even matter to you if I care or not? You have changed ever since almost dying and I know you thought you could hide it from me. I don't even recognize this woman in front of me. You're not the woman I fell in love with anymore and especially not the woman who was so very desperate to get away from her tormentor. Did you really think I would just overlook the fact that your first reaction to meeting him again was to fuck him? What does tell you about yourself, hmm?” He didn't wait for a response from me, standing up from his chair to stand in front of me, continuing on with his heated speech. 

“I'll tell you what it tells me. You're broken Alice, broken beyond any repair and whatever good there might have been inside you died with you when you flat-lined on that operating table. You're nothing but an empty shell of the woman you used to be and this just proves it. I didn't have the heart to tell you yesterday, because quite frankly I was pitying you, the broken little toy back in the clutches of the evil boy who broke it. Now I know better though, you don't deserve my pity or compassion. I'm through with whatever might have been between us and I want you to leave and never come back here. Go back to your husband, where you belong.” 

Sherlock's statement hung heavy in the air around us and I couldn't even respond to what he had said, the finality in his tone making it quite clear that he wasn't going to argue the point any further. His face was completely blank except for the clear disdain in his eyes and I knew that he was not going back on the decision to end things between us, no matter what I might say in my defence. My chest began to hurt, a sharp stabbing pain that got worse with each pump of my heart and despite my instincts screaming at me to beg him to reconsider, all I could think was, that this was for the best, that he didn't deserve to get pulled further into my shit. He had done more than enough for me and I had repayed him by acting like a whore. I didn't deserve someone like him, I was too tainted and too broken to ever be good enough for him and so I wordlessly turned around and left Baker Street 221 B, intending to never return. Tears blurred my vision, as I aimlessly walked the streets and I let them fall freely down my face, not caring if anyone saw. 

What did it matter anyway?  Nothing mattered anymore.  The one thing, the only thing that had ever brought me happiness was gone now and it was all my fault.  I tried to convince myself that it was ok, that this would be beneficial for everyone in the long run, but it felt like I was being swallowed by a black hole, sucking the air out of my lungs, my mind spiralling into a bottomless pit.  Pushing through obstacles and getting jostled around by passers-by I just kept walking, mumbling to myself in between sobs, hugging myself tightly to keep from falling apart.  My body felt numb on the outside, the temperature and pouring rain not even registering or maybe I was just starting to dissolve into the nothing I felt, pieces of my physical body breaking off and turning into dust, only to be blown away by the wind.  A few words had managed what decades of mental and physical abuse hadn't been able to truly accomplish. 

My mind was breaking, splintering into tiny little shards inside my head, just like my heart and it hurt, it hurt so god damn much, please just make it stop, make it stop, make it STOP! I was on my knees in the middle of the side walk, my hands harshly tugging at my hair, screaming at the top of my lungs, oblivious to the people around me. I felt like standing at the edge of a cliff or teetering on a high-rope, ready to fall down, down, down. A part of me tried to fight this feeling, tried to scrape together the last parts of my sanity in a vain effort to protect me from completely losing any sense of reality, but another part of me whispered to me to just let go, to embrace the madness. That it was already in my blood anyway, so why fight it so hard? It was always supposed to happen, wasn't it? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, maybe it would make the pain go away and didn't I want that more than anything? I had stopped screaming a while ago, my hands now laying limply in my lap as I stared unseeingly ahead, my head cocked to the side as if I was listening to someone and in a sense I was. It sounded all so very reasonable and ignoring the tiny voice of reason in my splintered mind, I let myself fall head first into the darkness that consumed my being, everything around me fading out of existence, as I collapsed onto my side. 

There was no tiny voice of reason in my head anymore when I came back to and it took me a while to figure out, that I wasn't feeling much of anything at the moment, certainly not the terrible pain I had been feeling before. I felt almost serenely calm and not at all like I had lost my mind, quite the opposite actually. My mind seemed to be totally clear for what felt like the first time ever and I pushed myself off of the rain-soaked ground with renewed energy, confused for a moment as to why I had been lying there in the first place. Mentally shrugging it off, I looked around me, trying to find out where I actually was and how to get home from here, simply smiling at the concerned looking crowd of people that had gathered around me. Waving them off and assuring them that I was alright, my eyes fell on a phone booth a few feet away from where I was standing and determinedly pushing through the pedestrians, I strode over to it, squeezing myself through the door and staring at the phone. I didn't have any money on me, but I could always make use of a  reverse charge call, so I dialled the operator and gave them the number I wanted to reach. Rocking back and forth on my feet I hummed to myself, waiting for the call to be accepted and chirped out a greeting when I heard Sebastian's gruff voice through the speaker.

“Hi Tiger! Could you maybe come and pick me up? I'm on Warwick Avenue near the subway station.”

“How the bloody hell did you even get there?” He sounded rather incredulous and I furrowed my brows while I tried very hard to think about this question, before I shrugged my shoulders.

“I have absolutely no idea, isn't that funny?” I giggled into the receiver, drawing patterns against the fogged over windows of the phone booth. “Anyway, can you come pick me up or not? I don't really know how to get home from here and I also don't have any money, so please?” Drawing out the please, I nibbled on my bottom lips, waiting for him to answer. I could hear him speak to someone in the background and was starting to get impatient when he finally came back on the line.

“Stay where you are, we're going to be there as soon as we can.”

“Yes sir!” I mock saluted, even though he couldn't possibly see me and let out another giggle when the line went dead. Sebastian was such a moody little brat sometimes, I wondered why Jim kept hanging around with the guy. Then again, he _was_ an excellent sniper so I guessed that had to count for something.

It was still raining outside, the wind making the fat drops pelt against the side of the phone booth and I was mesmerized by the rivulets of water that ran down the windows, the receiver still clutched in my hand. I had started shivering at some point, my rain-soaked clothes clinging against my skin, but I didn't pay it any mind really, still transfixed on the rain outside. A cold gust of air suddenly blew across my back and blinking my eyes as if coming out of a trance, I slowly turned around, a large smile breaking out across my face when I saw Jim standing in front of the now open door, with an umbrella in his hand.

Finally letting go of the receiver, I flung myself at him, pressing my sodden clothes against his pristine looking suit, hugging him tightly and rubbing my face against his chest like a cat. He seemed startled by my attack, almost stumbling backwards and letting go of him just as quickly as I had made contact, I grinned up at him.

“That was quick! Did you race here or something? I was only waiting for like ten minutes or so.” The look he gave me was a mix of concern and surprise and he hesitantly cupped my face with one of his hands, his eyes searching mine.

“Have you taken any drugs? You called over an hour ago, Alice.” Furrowing my brows at that, I stared at him for a moment before I shook my head and pushed myself past him and into the rain, craning my neck to look for the car.

“No, that can't be right. I'm sure you just looked at the time wrong. Anyway, where's our trusted driver? I really need to get home and out of these clothes, maybe take a nice hot bath. You could join me if you like?” I winked at him over my shoulder and he just stared at me as if he had never seen me before, confusing me with his weird behaviour.

“What's the matter with you? Oh no, you are still angry about this morning, aren't you? I'm sorry! I admit I overreacted a tiny bit, but you could've just told me that you wanted a baby. Not that it's going to be likely to happen anytime soon because of the contraceptive injection I had before leaving.” Before he had a chance to respond, I finally spotted Sebastian and skipped over to him, enveloping him in a short hug before I slipped into the car.

It was wonderfully warm and toasty inside and I snuggled deeper into my seat, closing my eyes with a content sigh. When I had absorbed the warmth through my freezing skin for a few minutes, I blinked my eyes open again, wondering where Jim and Sebastian had gone, and saw them standing outside the car, arguing with each other. It was obviously about me, as they both glanced over at me occasionally and narrowing my eyes, I rolled down the window so they could hear me.

“What are you two waiting for? I want to go home now!” They shared a glance between them, still not moving and with a huff, I rolled the window up again and threw myself back into the seat, sulking. I couldn't understand why they made me wait like this, couldn't they see that I was cold and wanted to go home? After another couple of minutes, they finally, _finally_ decided we could leave and I scooted over to let Jim take the seat next to me, while Sebastian took his spot in the drivers seat and started the car, weaving it into traffic. Glaring at Jim, I crossed my arms across my chest and huffed again, sticking my nose up in the air when I looked away again.

“Where did you go after you stormed out this morning?” Swivelling my head back around, I noticed the cautious look on Jim's face as he regarded me. Humming to myself I tried thinking about his question, but everything after I had left the mansion was blurry and out of focus. It made my head hurt when I tried harder to remember and I became annoyed because of it.

“Like I said to Tiger, I have absolutely no idea. I think I just wandered the streets or something? Why does it matter anyway, I'm back aren't I?” He was looking at me weirdly again and I was starting to get really fed up with it, so I threw my hands in the air and shook my head.

“Would you stop looking at me like that already? It's weirding me out.”

“Alice, you have been gone for nearly four hours with no recollection of where you where or what you did. Don't you think that's a tad bit disconcerting?” Jim's voice was soothing and calm, as if he was speaking to a crazy person and I felt myself bristle, shooting him a haughty look.

“No, in fact I don't think it is. And stop talking to me like I'm bonkers. You almost sound like Mycroft.” As soon as the words had left my mouth, images started to assault my brain like a film-reel fast forwarding and everything came back to me at once. How Mycroft had brought me to Baker Street, how Sherlock had broken my heart and how I fell apart afterwards, but it all felt disconnected, as if it had happened to someone else and I was just seeing a movie about it.

Fingers snapped in front of my face and I reeled back, startled, my eyes landing on Jim who had a look of worry etched on his face.

“Oh, sorry. I just remembered what happened today. Apparently Mycroft picked me up along the way and took me to see Sherlock. I told him about our little tryst in the bunker and he got very unreasonable about it, telling me to basically fuck off and that he didn't want to see me again.” Shrugging my shoulders as if it meant nothing to me, which was kind of true because I didn't feel anything about it, not anymore, I smiled at Jim. There was a flicker of satisfaction in his dark eyes, but the worry was still there as well as he carefully took my hand in his, rubbing his thumb over my skin.

“You seem very nonplussed about this. Are you sure you're alright?” I could tell that he didn't really want to know but felt obligated to ask nonetheless and I slid closer to him, staring into his eyes.

“I'm more than alright actually. At first I wasn't, crying and screaming like an idiot, probably making a spectacle of myself in the middle of the street. But then I just let it go, let it all go and now I feel better than I ever have before in my life. Nothing to hold me back anymore, no fear, no pain, no anger, it's quite marvellous.” Something like understanding washed over his face, followed by a tinge of sadness and then anger, before melting into a smile.

“Does that mean you have finally accepted where you belong?” His voice sounded almost hopeful and I leaned into him, pressing a soft kiss against his lips, the contact sending a shiver down my spine.

“Yes, I do. Where I belonged from the very beginning, with you and only you. I didn't understand before but it's all so very clear to me now. I belong to you, just like you belong to me.” I whispered the confession against his lips, staring deep into his eyes which seemed to ignite from the inside, the fire in them consuming me just like his lips did when they crashed against mine again.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you most kindly for leaving kudos on this work, it really means a lot!  
Furthermore, comments are always appreciated, so don't be shy and feed the hungry comment section! :D
> 
> I wish everyone a fantastic day! <3


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